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BREAKING: Palpatine displeased at latest energy bills


As you probably know, it’s May the 4th, we were shocked to hear that Senator Palpatine, the Galactic Emperor and the head of the Imperial Fleet have not considered there carbon footprint.

The Senior Officer

We got talking to a Senior Officer from the fleet, he was on leave from duty visiting his family. Turns out after not visiting them for the last 7 years by choice in order to assert his commitment to the cause, his wife had moved on and his children were refusing to speak to him. He was in a bar sipping a Barium Frizz, we bought him an Antakarian Fire Dancer and got chatting.

This chance meeting proved pretty fruitful, for us and the senior officer. He was speaking of the extremely high prices of food on Imperial Stations. While we complained for a while about the extortionate prices and discussed how it was better just to eat nutritive slurry even if it was disgusting, it was easier to stomach than some of the prices on the Imperial stations, we got to talking about the amount of money the Imperial Fleet was costing the Empire. Turns out it was one whole lot of Imperial Credit!

70 Million Ships to run!

So, we wanted to get some more information out of the unnamed Senior Officer to see if we could lend a hand with their finances. Basically, there are a lot of ships in the fleet, and from what we could deduce from the conversation is there are roughly 70 million ships in entirety. Not all running at the same time, but almost.

At first, we thought “How much would it cost to buy all those ships!” but then the more concerning “How much would it cost to run all those ships” thought blew the first thought out of the sky.

That’s a lot of energy!

With just under 70 million ships in space there’s a lot of fuel that needs to be purchased. A lot of ships run on Hypermatter, whilst others, most notable the TIE Fighters, run on high pressure radioactive gas needed to create the fusion reactions on board to propel the ships.

Saving the Empire money

So shamelessly we knew someone they needed to meet, Business Save, knowing these guys could save them some money on their gas and hypermatter bills. Immediately they had a little look into it and compared a few of the tariffs out there. It turns out the Empire is paying about 30% too much for gas and 45% too much for Hypermatter. The Death Star is powered by Hypermatter and it really isn’t that energy efficient. There’s a lot of energy wasted as heat, therefore it is imperative that the Empire get a decent deal on their energy bill. With 70 million ships to run, the Empire have to be efficient, and engage with their bill.

Appeal for Palpatine

So, what Business Save is offering is the chance for Senator Palpatine to save a few credits and pay less in energy for his Imperial Fleet. Yeah, sure some of you could say he’s a bad guy, but no one deserves to get ripped off, do they?

We haven’t been able to get hold of him (we haven’t heard from the Senior Officer in a while either) if anyone sees him can you get him to give us a call, by the end of the day if you can. It will be the most profitable two minutes of his year. May the 4th be with you.